


Don't You Draw the Queen of Diamonds

by SpaceWaffleHouseTM



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: But it's all a dream sequence, Canon Compliant, Dark Rey, Desperate Connection TM, Dominant Rey, F/M, Face Sitting, Forcebond Dreams, Loss of Virginity, Mostly Smut, No Pregnancy, Oral Sex, Rey goes a bit darkside, Smut, Sort Of, TRoS Inspired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-25 23:23:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20379850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceWaffleHouseTM/pseuds/SpaceWaffleHouseTM
Summary: Ben sees Rey in a dream, but the Rey in front of him isn't the one he knows, not quite. She's something else.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, yeah, this is named after Desperado by the eagles because JJ Abrams said that reylo's relationship was "desperate" lmao. 
> 
> Anyway, I fucking was compelled to write this after the shit that went down today, so here goes.
> 
> In which the author attempts to write in the present tense for the first time.

She comes to him in a dream. For once, instead of white or even the gray she’d worn on the Supremacy, Rey is sheathed in black, a vision of darkness. A vision of what he’d once sworn he’d bring to Snoke, and was now grateful he never had. 

The wind is howling in his ears as he watches her, and though she’s facing him, he doubts she can see so much as an inch of his body. He isn’t there, he realizes, not to her. The Rey in his dreams is somewhere else— _ something  _ else—and he knows he won’t be able to shake the image of her from his mind now or ever. 

Her cloak is billowing on the breeze, those hazel eyes he’s gotten lost in too many times looking somehow darker than ever as she grips something tightly at her side. He takes a cautious step forward, and though the ground appears to be nothing more than a silver mist around them, he is certain that something must be beneath him if he’s approaching her the way he is. 

Rey’s face twists into a scowl as he approaches. Or had she already been making such a face and he’d only just now noticed? It’s impossible for him to tell, after all, this is just a dream. This is a fantasy, isn’t it? 

Then why does it feel so real?

He can feel the wind on his face, can feel it whipping through his hair, can hear the sound of her breathing, and the tiny sound of her boots making contact with the mysterious ground as she shifts her feet. It’s real. It may not be physically real, but it is…  _ something _ , something he cannot name. 

It’s beyond words. 

“Rey,” he whispers her name, and it sounds almost like a prayer, like he was in some sort of temple asking a holy deity for forgiveness. 

But she doesn’t hear him. He’s not there for her, and that’s when he realizes this is not his dream. This is hers. 

It’s happened before. He’s come upon her dreams many times since he’d last seen her on Crait, but he’s never quite seen her like this. 

There has never been an angrier, fiercer look in her eyes. She looks positively lethal, and whatever’s in her hand, he can sense it’s energy, can feel it calling out to him, and he recognizes it before she ever touches the button that will ignite the blade. 

Rey has a lightsaber, and it is not his grandfather’s. It is not the one they split in two in the throne room. That one had a distinct energy that he could feel in his soul; it gave him a sense of belonging, of relief, and when he’d last called to it, he’d felt like he was whole again after being torn apart for so long. 

This one has a much darker signature. This one draws from the same power he calls his, the same one the Sith, Snoke, Palpatine, and his grandfather had called to. It isn’t her usual signature, it’s so far removed from what he knows about the last Jedi that for a moment, he starts to wonder if this really is Rey. 

But it is. Underneath all that darkness he can still feel her force signature burning fiercely. She is indeed Rey, but something has changed—something drastic. 

Cautiously, he takes another step forward, and without warning a red blade ignites a fire across the dark landscape they’re standing on. It spits out from two ends of the hilt, a double blade that is now inches from his neck. If he moves any closer, she will slit his throat, and he doesn’t know this Rey—he can’t say she won’t. 

His breathing staggers as his hands fly up defensively, and he looks back at her face to find she is now staring directly at him. Where she couldn’t see him before, she is looking into the depths of his soul now. Her blade is humming against his neck, and she isn’t speaking to him, but her eyes say a million things that defy language. 

“What happened to you?” he asks, barely able to keep his voice from trembling as he looks at her. 

She almost doesn’t look as if she recognizes him, almost doesn’t seem to register who he is, but then she pauses, and he swears he can hear his name fall from her lips. It’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard, it always is when she says his name, but this time it almost sounds relieved. 

“What happened?” he repeats, but she still doesn’t answer him. 

The blade at his throat, however, disappears, and its hilt is stashed somewhere beneath that dark cloak she’s wearing. For a few seconds after that they just stare at each other, neither really knowing what to say, but both giving off some vague idea that they really want to speak. Her thoughts are loud, and like his own most days, full of conflict. 

But unlike how she usually thinks, those thoughts are hinging on the dark side. They’re shrouding the light so much, it is like she has one candle lit in a dense, hundred-mile forest beneath a moonless sky. Something is wrong, and he is definitely one to talk, but he misses the usual signature she carries. He misses the light that used to brighten his days just knowing it was there, even when they weren’t speaking. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” she says after what feels like forever goes by, and they both startle a bit in response. 

Gathering his wits, he struggles to think of a reply. It takes a while, but eventually, logic finds him. “You know I don’t always have a choice.”

She looks sad in the aftermath of his words, then bows her head in acknowledgment of the truth before she steps back from him, and the brief flicker of warmth he’d felt from her goes cold, swept away on the wind ruffling their clothes. “But you can choose to leave.”

There is ice in her soul. It’s cold and miserable, and it reminds him of his own. The gears of realization start turning in his mind, and he knows that this path isn’t the one she was meant to follow. He knows she deserves better, and he’s hit with the vague thought that maybe he does, too. 

He can’t let her do this. What it is she’s doing, he doesn’t know, but he has to stop it. She can’t follow the path he did, he can’t watch her fall from such a great height like he had. 

“No,” he says after a while, and he can now see his breath in the air, can see the condensation as it drifts between them. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“This is my dream,” she hisses back at him, then she points off into the black distance. “ _ Go.” _

Her voice is a  _ growl.  _ He’s never heard her growl before, and a part of him feels aroused by the sound. His heart begins to race in his chest, and he becomes aware that she has moved closer to him again just as his cheeks begin to warm. 

Still, he refuses her wishes. “No.”

“Why?” Tendrils of anger prick at the forefront of his mind, and he knows that she’s trying to figure out his motives even if he never answers the question. “Why are you staying?”

The reason is unthinkable, but not because it is horrid in nature, it is simply because it is a terrifying prospect to face. “This… this isn’t you,” he breathes after a long moment of hesitation. 

She scoffs as she steps closer to him, then a dark, gloved hand like his own is reaching up to cup his chin, and he gasps at the contact. They’ve never touched like this. The most they’ve ever touched one another was in his chambers on the Supremacy, when he’d seen firelight flickering on her face, and her fingertips had pressed against his. 

When he’d had the passing thought that she was beautiful. 

Now she was touching him just as delicately, but slowly applied more pressure until her hand was firm against the line of his jaw. “You’re one to talk,” she whispers, leaning forward so that he can feel her breath ghost over his lips. 

The electricity that runs down his spine in the aftermath makes him feel alive. 

“Maybe so, but that doesn’t make me any less right,” he says, and her breath huffs in response, her spine straightening so that she stands a bit taller. 

When she takes another step closer to him, he can feel himself growing hard, and the warning bells are going off in his head, but he’s not so sure that’s a bad thing. “You can’t save me.”

“This isn’t real, Rey, you need to wake up before it is.”

“Why?” she asks, her voice still low in a way he should definitely not find sexy, but  _ fuck _ , it is. “Why should I?”

“Because I don’t want you to end up like me.” He thinks of all the things he’s done, all the people he’s killed or hurt—her face when he’d asked her to join him on the Supremacy. If Rey were to spend her nights haunted the way he was, he’d never be able to live with himself. “So wake up.”

She is pressed up against him now. He can feel her chest as it becomes flush against his, and he’s praying that she can’t feel the erection growing between his legs. If she does, she says nothing, and simply continues moving closer to him as if there’s some sort of magnetic pull driving her into him. 

He doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t protest it. The part of him that’s always wanted to see her dark is thriving and singing with life right now, and arousal is increasing his heart rate obscenely fast. Unable to believe this is real, he reaches out to touch the edges of her thoughts with the force, shock running through him when he realizes hers are walking down the same path as his. 

She wants him as badly as he wants her, and maybe if he wants to bring back the Rey he knows and loves—well, he’s not sure yet, but a part of him must if he’s spent so many months pining for her—he has to show her the light again. He has to remind her where she’s come from—spiritually, at least. 

“Rey,” he warns her, giving her one more chance to back out before he crosses that last bit of distance between them. 

“You said this isn’t real?”

“It is, and it isn’t,” he explains, unsure how he’s able to think so clearly with her forehead now pressed up against his. “It’s your dream, but we’re both in it. We’re both here.”

“Then give in.” Her eyes are darker than they’ve ever been, and not even from her dilated pupils, but from whatever it is stirring awake inside of her. “Kiss me.”

It becomes clear to him in that moment that the control is hers. He is willingly leaning forward, willingly hovering his lips a fraction of an inch from hers, but the control belongs to Rey. She is the one in charge, and he wants more than anything to give her whatever she asks him for. It’s all he’s ever dreamed of, after all. 

Their lips touch tentatively at first, skin barely brushing skin, but Rey lacks the patience he currently seems to have. The woman of light he’d once known knew how to wait, she knew how to draw out time like it was her bow and arrow, snapping only at the right moment, but the one before him is lightning. She is random and quick, striking when he least expected it. 

An involuntary moan escapes him against her mouth as she kisses him within an inch of his life. His lips feel tingly, and his whole body begins to tremble as her hands come up to bury themselves in the waves of his hair. 

She kisses like a woman starved, and to his understanding, she was. She’d been starved of food and human affection most of her life on Jakku, hadn’t she? He’d seen her parents, he’d seen what had happened to her, and yet what she turned that into was something wonderful. 

It’s intense, all-consuming, and he feels like he might spontaneously combust, but he’s never felt more alive—or more at  _ home.  _

His arms wrap around her waist, holding her close for a few seconds until he finally runs out of air. The instant he breaks away, though, she wrenches herself from his hold, but doesn’t stray far. He nearly chokes on the first breath he takes as he watches her reach for the fabric of the cloak, then she pulls it over her head, letting it fall somewhere in the mist surrounding them. 

Underneath the cloak, she wears a black variation of her usual ensemble, right down to the belt and shoes. Everything is black and leather, and it looks like someone had taken him and turned him into a woman. The sight of it makes him even more painfully hard than he already was, and though he isn’t cold, he is shivering as he watches her begin to remove it as well. 

She starts with the belt, her eyes never leaving him as she undoes the loops and straps keeping it attached to her body. It and her holstered double bladed saber fall into the mist with the cloak before she lets the fabric draped over her shirt pool at her feet. He swears he could hear her heart beating as she reaches for the hem of her top, and soon that is falling to the ground as well. 

His brain is short-circuiting as he tries to find the words to say. “R-Rey are you sure about this?” he asks, feeling like it’s the right thing to do no matter how badly he wants her to take him to the ground right now. 

“This is a dream,” she reminds him, then her breast band joins the rest of the clothing that had donned her top half on the ground, and his mind stops functioning altogether at the sight of something he’d only ever imagined. Her breasts are bares to him now, and he’s oddly charmed by a small freckle just beneath the right one. “And I want it.”

A choked noise escapes him as her hands reach down for the waistband of her pants—high waisted leather like his, making him think of how she felt when she’d caught him without a shirt through the bond—and begins to undo the fastenings. His voice isn’t working, but he manages to use it, he has to if he’s going to get through to her. “Rey, I want this, too. I really, really want this,” he says, then he catches her hands just before they can finish undoing the leather, and he sighs. “But if I do, promise me something.  _ Please. _ ”

There’s another moment of hesitation, then he sees it, a flicker of the woman he knows smiling at him through the darkness. “ _ Anything _ ,” she whispers, and he knows he has a chance after that. 

“At least consider not continuing this path.” His fingers tuck themselves beneath the waistband of her trousers as he speaks, tugging them gently down her hips as he watches her swallow nervously above him. “Consider it. You’ve seen what it did to me. You left me because I went down it. Don’t follow me here.”

Dark and light are waging a terrible war in her eyes, he can sense it on the edge of her thoughts, but he doesn’t call her out on it. Instead, he just watches as she nods, and he tilts the corners of his mouth in a hint of a smile as he takes her underwear down with the leather, leaving her all but naked in front of him. “Okay,” she replies, then she begins to remove her boots, kicking the remaining clothing away into the mist before she steps toward him again. “Lay down.”

“What?”

“Lay...” She presses a finger into his chest, and with a slight push of the force, he is falling to the ground. “Down.”

Ben falls silent as she looms over him, the mist clouding his vision slightly as she walks between his legs, then she steps over him, placing her feet on either side of his waist before bending down to straddle him properly. 

He can feel both of their hearts absolutely pounding in the bond, and even reaches up a hand to delicately press his palm in the space between her breasts, feeling hers glittering against his skin. Though she’s no longer wearing her black clothing, Rey’s heart nearly matches the color, and he wonders what could’ve happened to her to make it nearly as dark as his. Sure, she’d always had darkness in her, but it’d never been this bad, had it?

“You’re thinking too loudly,” she tells him, then before he can apologize, she is kissing him again, and he doesn’t mind the interruption one bit. 

Her lips are soft, he realizes, and plusher than he’d thought they’d be. They fit against his perfectly, like they’d been made to kiss only him. The implications of that thought aren’t lost on him, but he wishes they would be. He doesn’t need to be thinking of how they were built for each other when they’ve only just started whatever this is. 

Rey’s soul turns a shade of slate grey as she kisses him, like she can sense the sweetness of the thoughts he’s having, and they’re affecting her for the better. It almost makes him smile against her lips, but then she’s breaking away from him again, and she sits back against his hips. 

Through the layers of clothing he’s wearing, he can feel how wet she is for him, and that nearly renders him dead. 

“I want you to touch me.”

He shivers again. “Okay.” 

“With your tongue.”

His brain malfunctions. “What?”

She doesn’t notice, or doesn’t care. “With your tongue.” She crawls forward, and is now straddling his chest, stretching her legs a little further apart to accommodate the extra space before she sits back again, and takes his cheeks in her still gloved hands. “I want you to make me come on your face, and I don’t want you to stop until I tell you to.”

Ben has died. He’s certain of it. This is both a dream and a nightmare rolled into one, and it is renewing his will to live. All he can do is nod again as she leans down to press a kiss to his forehead, her breasts brushing against his collarbone as she moves. Part of him wants to ask her if he could take them in his mouth while he drove her over the edge with his fingers, but she’s already made a request to him and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t heed it. 

She answers his silence by crawling forward a little more, and his head falls back on the ground almost limply as he watches her legs come to either side of his face. Tendrils of mist are swirling around her, making Rey look ethereal in the pale light of whatever dreamscape she’s conjured up. He thinks again that she’s beautiful, then his hands come up beneath her thighs to cup her ass, gripping it firmly as he brings her the final few inches forward to his mouth. 

It occurs to him that Ben has no idea what he’s doing, but through the connection they share, he has some vague notion of what she wants him to do. Nerves swarm like flies inside of him, but Ben doesn’t falter. He just brings her closer, then as her breathing shudders above him, he lets his tongue dart out to taste her. 

The reaction is immediate. She gasps softly, her hands coming down somewhere above his head to support herself so she doesn’t collapse completely, and he nearly chuckles as waves of arousal fill their bond. Before she can fully recover, he goes back in, licking a broad stripe through her cunt before almost casually lapping at her clit. 

Her moan in response burns itself in his memory in the best possible way. He’s going to think about that sound for the rest of his life. It is going to beautifully haunt him until the day he dies, and he will gladly take that punishment. That sound is a gift from the force itself, and he already cherishes the way it echoes in his memories. 

As he sticks his tongue back inside her cunt, his name becomes the next thing that echoes through the mist. It too will stay with him for the remainder of his life, he is certain. 

Rey is  _ responsive _ , he realizes very quickly. She reacts to every little thing he does, and when he moves up to suck her clit into his mouth, he wonders if she swore out loud in her sleep wherever she is. The obscenities leaving her lips fill him with a satisfaction he hadn’t felt in a long time. He doesn’t even care that he isn’t getting off with her, he just wants her to come on his mouth like she’d asked. He also doesn’t care that he hasn’t taken off a thread of clothing to do it. 

Reaching down with a gloved hand, he lets his palm move along the curve of her ass until his fingers find her entrance. He can’t quite feel how wet she was through the gloves, but as he presses one of his fingertips inside, she shudders on top of him, crying out his name as a hand grips his hair tightly enough to hurt. Her grip loosens slightly as his finger presses all the way inside of her, and she is shaking on top of him as he begins to move it. 

“Ben,” she whispers as his finger pumps in and out of her, and he can  _ feel  _ the pleasure he’s causing her. If he keeps this up, he thinks he might come in his pants like a teenager. He thinks she might render him completely spent without ever having to touch him. 

He picks up his pace, removing his fingers a minute later to eat her out with renewed vigor, determined to make her come before he gets the chance to. Rey’s moans soon turn to stifled cries on top of him, and after what can’t be more than thirty seconds, she comes into his mouth. He can feel her orgasm around his tongue as he fucks her with it, and that sets his heart on fire. 

The embers of his soul ignite something in hers, and she isn’t as light as she used to be, but she is a little more grey like the mist that surrounds them. She isn’t quite as dark as she’d been when he’d first seen her, isn’t quite as desperate to fall. She won’t end up like him, he’s certain of that much, but as she finally begins to wind down from her climax on top of him, he knows this is only the beginning of his work in bringing back the Rey they both know. 

They’re both panting as she climbs off of him, and crawls to lay at his side as he watches. She’s still stark naked, her clothes lost somewhere in the dream, and Ben can see her shivering slightly against the cold as the heat from what they’d just done dies down. “Come here,” he whispers, then he sits up, detaching his cape from his shoulders before he pulls it out from under himself, and offers it to her. 

She has an unreadable expression on her face as she crawls to his side, and lets him wrap it around her shoulders, lets him pull her into his arms, and back into the mist. One of his hands is gently stroking her back through the thick fabric of his cape, relieved at how quickly she stops shaking once she’s covered by it, and he sighs contentedly as her head rests over his chest. 

They stay like that for a long time, lost in silence as they hold one another in the dark land that she’s dreamt into existence, and he swallows as he presses a tiny kiss to the top of her head, sending waves of assurance through their bond. “Whatever you decide, I’m here,” he tells her. “I never want to see you become like me, but if that’s what you choose… I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

At this, she shivers in his arms again, but he quickly realizes that Rey is shaking with the onslaught of gentle sobs, ones that shake them both as she grips the fabric of his tunic tightly in her fist. “I don’t know,” she replies, her voice smaller than he’s ever heard it, but not quite containing the darkness he’d heard earlier. “I don’t fucking know.”

He shushes her as she holds him a bit tighter, and wraps his other arm around her waist as he repeats words he’d said to her by a fire months and months ago, and hopes they warm her heart a little from the ice that has it in an iron grip. It becomes abundantly clear to him then, as he holds her in the unknown mist, that her struggle is ongoing, and he has only just begun to help her heal. 

This journey is far from over, but he’s not leaving here, not leaving this dream, this place, until Rey’s soul heals with nothing but a scar left to bear the news of what had transpired in the mist. 


	2. Chapter 2

He holds her for an amount of time he can’t quite comprehend. It’s long enough that he wonders how time is passing in the real world, how long it has been since they first saw each other out here. 

However long it is, Rey never stops shaking in his arms. Her hands never stop clutching at his tunic as she uses him to ground herself, as if she fears that by letting go, she will drift away into nothing. 

Or she’ll fall completely to the dark. 

At some point, he starts whispering sweet nothings to her. He’s not sure why he does it, his ramblings barely make sense, but he likes to think they calm them both. The force hums with an undercurrent of peace the longer he talks, and Rey is calmed to the point that her fists loosen their grip on his clothing, and she just buries her face against his chest to breathe for a while. 

His hands come up beneath the cape to stroke her back, tracing patterns around the ridges of her spine as he tried to find the words to say. How are they supposed to end things here? At what point is he safe to walk away and resume his normal life? What is his normal anymore?

What is  _ her  _ normal?

Some time goes by before he attempts to speak her name, but she brings a finger to his lips to shush him before he can get past the R. “Not yet,” she whispers, and it’s the first thing either of them have said in what feels like hours. 

A part of him likes this. Well, not the misery or the pain he can feel her projecting through the connection, but he likes the feeling of Rey holding him, likes how her body fits against his. This is the part of the dream he desperately wants to be a reality. He wants to hold her at night and tell her it’s gonna be okay, to have her hand on his beating heart as she assures herself he’s there, and to feel her warm breaths ghost over him as he realizes she’s there, too. 

This dream is far from over, but he’s already finding himself eager for the next one. 

“Ben?” she asks quietly after another lifetime passes. He’s not even sure he’s processed her voice at first, and so she says it again, and the slight worry ringing her voice makes him jolt to life. 

“What’s wrong?”

She falls quiet again, then she sighs, and sinks further into him. “Is this what it’s like inside your head all the time?”

“What do you mean?” 

“The conflict, the feeling of being surrounded by the dark and yet feeling a pull to the light,” she says, then her fist grips his tunic a little more tightly. “Like a moth to a flame.”

There’s the one question Ben knows how to answer without having to struggle to find it. He understands what he has to say before he can even think it, before he takes the breath required to speak words. “Yes,” he whispers, and he glances down to glimpse her eyes, watching those irises slowly come out of the shadows. “And that’s why I don’t want to see you going down this path, Rey, because this? It’s painful. Every day is a new form of agony. There is a draw to the dark. There is a benefit to using it in moderation, but to fall to it completely?” He shook his head. “You deserve better than that.”

“And what about you? Do you not deserve the same?”

That sounds more like the Rey he knows, and he’s almost charmed by her words. They’re sweet and gentle, and they make him think that maybe he should put his money where his mouth is, but then he remembers all he’s ever done. 

No, he doesn’t deserve the same. “I don’t. It’s too late for me, but not for you.”

Rey’s brows furrow as she looks at him, and she flattens her palm over his heart, allowing him to feel his own pulse as it echoes against her hand. “No one’s ever really gone,” she whispers quietly, almost as if she’s talking to herself. For all he knows, she might be. 

He takes in a deep breath. “You may be right.”

They fall quiet again, and he senses Rey’s conflict swelling within her as she groans, and leans further into him. “I think I understand you a little better now.”

“Yeah?”

“Your state of mind. I’m in the same place.” She picks at a stray thread on his tunic, likely ripping a piece of the cross stitching, but this is a dream. His tunic can’t actually rip, so he doesn’t worry. “I think I know why you wouldn’t join me.”

“And I know why  _ you  _ wouldn’t join  _ me. _ ”

Another moment of silence, then Rey shifts, and props herself up on her elbow, shaking her head as she continues plucking at the thread on his tunic. “I don’t know why, or how, but somehow it didn’t feel right before. Now-now falling to the dark feels easy, like it’s finally, properly calling to me, and I should feel scared, but I can’t help wanting it.”

“Don’t,” he begs her. “Where are you? I’ll find you, we’ll figure this out together.”

“I didn’t think the supreme leader could get away from his duties so easily,” she mutters, and he hears the thread snap right over his sternum, sending his beating heart into overdrive. “Maybe I should come to you instead.”

_ She can’t.  _ That’ll just push her further into the dark. He can’t watch her fall the way he did. Sure, she won’t have Snoke’s abuse to contend with, but still, the dark itself is not an easy place to reside. Not if one has a soul or shred of light left in them. “No. Don’t, it’s dangerous. Just-just stay here a little longer.  _ Please. _ ”

He’s said that to her before, and he knows she remembers it. Through their bond, he can sense a faint echo of his own voice begging her to stay with him, but he’s not entirely sure it works. “Wasn’t this what you wanted back then?” she asks, and  _ fuck,  _ this feels like torture. “For me to go dark?”

“Once, yes.” His eyes meet hers, and he takes a deep breath before he dares to speak again, “But sometimes it takes seeing your dreams to realize that’s not what you wanted at all.”

What he says strikes a chord with her, he can tell the instant he says them by the way her face falls, and her mouth thins into a straight line before her pink lips make themselves visible again. She doesn’t respond, though, not with words. Instead, she moves up, shifting until she has rolled on top of him, and suddenly his cock is growing hard again as one of her legs presses between his thighs. 

“Show me what you wanted,” she whispers, leaning down to graze the lobe of his ear with her teeth. “Show me how it would’ve been if I’d gone.”

For a second he’s tempted, especially as she begins to kiss his neck, sucking bruises into his skin as she continues ordering him to show her how it would’ve been if she’d stayed with him all those months ago. He wants to,  _ damn it _ , he really fucking wants to, but if he’s going to attempt to bring her back from whatever edge she’s standing on, he needs to take them down a different path. 

Ben gently pushes her away, more of a suggestion than a demand, but she moves, straddling his hips again as his cape pools at her waist. She watches him as he reaches for the belt around his midsection, unclipping it and allowing it to fall to the floor beneath him as another victim of the mysterious mist. Catching onto his intentions, Rey reaches for the fabric of the tunic, and begins to lift it over his abdomen, her hands gliding over the smooth planes of his muscles on their journey. 

With a tiny grunt, he sat up, and removed it entirely, tossing it somewhere off to the side before he reached for the fingers of his gloves, and stripped those, too. Her breath hitched as she watched, then she did the same, and finally she was fully naked before him, causing him to tremble anew at the sight. 

The first piece of his bare skin she’d ever touched had been his hand during a moment where both of them had been straddling the line between the light and the dark. He hopes that by extending it to her now, she’ll remember, and it’ll take her back to that moment, make her remember who she is. 

She reaches up with one of her newly bared hands, spreading her palm out in the open air, and he doesn’t hesitate to meet it. For a fraction of a second, their palms barely touch, then their fingers lace together as if of their own accord, and Ben is enthralled by the sight—by how much he loves to just hold her hand. “Do you feel that?” he asks, wondering if she can sense the electricity passing between them. 

She nods, then she leans forward, pressing her forehead against his. “Show me what would’ve happened,” she says. “I want to see it.”

“I’ll do anything for you.” His voice is sincere, he means every word of what he’s saying, but she has just made him a request he cannot fulfill, and so he must revise it. “But not that.”

A frown grows on her face, he can sense it even if he can’t see it at this close range. “Then show me something else. Show me where we go from here.” She leans in so close that her lips are practically brushing against his as she speaks. “Show me what happens next.  _ Please _ .”

That one word always breaks something in them, doesn’t it? It is always the deciding factor, always the final word in whatever path they take. Upon hearing it, he can’t fight the overwhelming urge he has to kiss her, and so he does. He kisses her with a ferocity he isn’t even aware he possessed, but the intensity comes with something sweet and loving. The fire he gives her is not lit to cause destruction but to light her way home. 

Rey will not fall the way he has. Not if he can help it. 

His arms come up to wrap around her as his lips part and come together with hers like it’s some sort of dance they’ve rehearsed all their lives. They’ve only just started this, but already it comes to them easily enough that he’s able to sink back down into the mist with her like it’s nothing. 

The longer they kiss, the more he feels almost as if he’s floating, and he wants to always feel like this, to always have her in his arms. Maybe he’ll only ever be able to have her in dreams they share, but he thinks that there’s the tiniest chance that they’ll find a way to be together someday. Until then, he’s going to hold her and do exactly what she’s asked of him. He’s going to show her what it could be like if they were together. 

Ben shifts his arms, then with a jerk of his hips, he’s rolling them over as gently as he can, and she gasps as he begins dragging his kisses down to her neck again. “Where do you want me?” He asks quietly, then he kisses her collarbone. “Tell me where you want me.”

“Lower,” she breathes, then he feels her hands in his hair again, tugging just hard enough that he knows precisely where to go, and his kisses fall onto the tops of her breasts. 

He kisses his way slowly up to one of her nipples, living for the way it pebbles beneath his touch as his tongue comes out to swirl around it, and Rey gasps from the contact. His name spills from her lips as he sucks her nipple into his mouth, grazing it gently with his teeth before pulling away, and doing the same to the other one. A hand comes up to replace his mouth on the first, his thumb eagerly rubbing over the hardened peak as she arches into him. 

Her pleasure is already so intense through the bond, and he hasn’t even touched her where she wants him most yet. He can only hope it feels just like this in reality. 

“Mmm, Ben I want…” she starts, but she fails to finish her sentence as he swirls his tongue around her nipple again, and she pauses briefly to moan before she’s able to finish. “I want you inside me.”

Though it pains him slightly to do so, he’s promised to obey her every command, and the part of him that once yearned for her to fall to the dark side with him is thriving every time she tells him what to do, so he stops. “How do you want me?”

All she gives him is a smirk, then he feels a wave of dark energy from the force, and he’s on his back on the ground again, and she’s straddling his hips. “Like this,” she says, her voice low as she leans down to kiss him again. 

He’s not sure he’s ever been this hard as she begins to grind herself against him, his hands come up to support her waist, but that’s about all the self-control he has as she kisses him so intensely, he wonders how he can still possibly be dreaming. Rey is making him feel better than he’s ever felt, and though this is only a dream, he wants desperately for it to be real, because his hand is never going to compare to just the feeling of her grinding on his erection. 

Whatever is going to happen when she finally, properly rides his cock is going to end him. Of that much he is certain as her hands reach down between them, and she begins to undo the fastenings of his leather pants. This makes him positive he’s going to pass out from how fast his heart is beating. Can he even do that in a dream? Is it possible? 

Something tells him he’s about to find out as he lifts his hips slightly to continue thrusting against her as she steadily works his cock free of its confines. All too soon the friction is lost, and he groans as she pulls away, but the smirk she gives him in response only makes him harder. She’s going to kill him, and he’s perfectly okay with that. 

She pulls the leather steadily down past his hips, moving it down just far enough to expose his cock before she crawls back up to him, kissing him soundly on the mouth as her legs part somewhere just above his hips. Dots—no,  _ stars— _ fill his vision as he returns her kiss, his hands drifting up and down her body as her own make their way steadily down the planes of his abdomen. Rey is a woman on a mission, and as much as he’s enjoying this, he’s also praying that she doesn’t accidentally fall even further to the dark with what they’re doing. 

He’s promised to show her what it will be like, and even though he is the one taking orders, he is still going to prove to her that she can stay away from the same blackness that had consumed his soul. 

After a few seconds, Rey breaks the kiss to crawl back again, reaching between them with one hand to wrap her fingers around his cock. At the first contact she makes, his eyes roll back in his head, and he has to hold his breath to prevent some pretty embarrassing noises from coming out. His head hits the hard surface of whatever ground is beneath them, and as she begins to stroke him tenderly, he can feel little pinpricks of her light shining through the dark. Something about seeing him gasping from pleasure seems to be reminding her that the dark side isn’t her path; that she has another destiny. 

Whatever it is, he’s more than willing to feed that side of her, and so he lets himself make a little noise. Tiny gasps for air echo through the foggy landscape, and his shaky breaths fill both their ears as the woman above him positions his cock beneath her entrance. His eyes go wide, unable to look away as she slowly lowers herself onto him. Ben is hypnotized by the sight, but his eyes are forced shut again by the feeling it brings. 

His entire body is alight with tension. Fireworks are dancing in front of his closed eyelids, and a pleasure he’s never known fills his whole body as his cock is sheathed inside of her little by little. She takes him in deep, stopping before she can take him all the way, but it’s certainly more than he’s expecting. It catches him off guard. 

“ _ Fuck,  _ Rey,” he breathes, his hands wandering down to rest on her hips as she adjusts to the feeling of him inside of her. This is a dream, and he thinks it’s because of that he hasn’t bothered to ask her if she’s done this before. He knows he hasn’t, and that’s why he’s so thoroughly shaken by this, but the Jedi almost moves like she knows what she’s doing. Sexually, she’s more confident than he’s ever seen her, and it has him wondering—

“Is this what you imagined it’d be like?” she asks, her voice unexpectedly quiet as she begins to move on top of him. “Like this?”

“Whatever you want it to be,” he says, then he shakes his head. “I haven’t—I haven’t pictured this. I’m—I wouldn’t know where to start.”

The realization hits her quickly. “You haven’t done this either.”

“No,” he whispers, then he pushes himself up, and she sinks a little further into him as he sits, causing him to moan before he can gather his thoughts. “But it feels good,  _ really good _ , Rey…”

She nods, and he can see into her soul again, another pinprick of light leaks through as she runs a hand gently through his hair. “Just tell me if you want me to stop,” she whispers, then Ben groans again as she moves on top of him, taking his cock like it was something she’d been made to do. 

The way she feels around him is impossible to describe, but it makes him feel as if he’s both grounded to reality and adrift somewhere along an invisible river. He doesn’t know which one suits the situation better, all he knows is this is the best he’s felt in ages, and it’s in a fucking dream. 

He buries his face in her neck as she begins to ride him at an increasingly fast pace, his jaw is slack, and his teeth press into her skin as incoherent noises escape him. Through the bond, he can feel her pleasure soaring at how she’s made him feel. Rey is reveling in this, bathing in it like it’s the warmest, most golden sunlight she’s ever found, and it makes sense. Both sides of the force are swirling between them, light and dark doing a dance of shadows as their souls fight to save each other. 

“This is what it can be like,” he says against her skin, then he moves his lips up, and presses a kiss right over her pulse point. “You and I. This is what it should’ve been like all along.”

Rey gasps, her fingers gripping his hair more tightly than ever as he sucks her skin into his mouth, undoubtedly leaving a mark there that she’d find later if it somehow managed to exist outside the dream. A part of him wondered, with all the marks they’d left on each other thus far, if they’d wake up with purple and red marks on their skin, if they’d have to cover up when this was over. 

She cries out his name as she lets him finish marking her neck, then he feels her tug on his hair, and his neck is the one being exposed. The combined sensations of her riding his cock and nearly  _ biting  _ into his neck are making him feel things that are beyond comprehension, his breath is coming out in short, sharp pants. Stars are filling his vision, and he hasn’t even come yet but he already feels like he’s riding a high he never wants to come down from. 

It’s only at this moment that he realizes what euphoria means. He realizes it feels like ecstasy, and as Rey finally lets go of his neck to ride him harder, raking her nails down his back, he knows he isn’t going to last much longer. 

“Let go, Ben,” she whispers in his ear, then she swears, her voice pitchy in a way that lets him know she’s close. “Come with me.”

_ With me. With me. With me. With. With. With. With.  _

The words echo in his head, and with a sharp cry, Ben buries his face in her hair, whispering her name like it’s the holiest of prayers. His vision becomes nothing but a series of lights, and as he feels her come around his cock, it goes white. 

Forever seems to pass him by just like this. It feels like he’s adrift at sea, but there’s no need to fear drowning when he’s sinking into pure, blissful oblivion. He feels at peace, like he’s been fighting a war for so long and he’s finally been allowed to come home. Through their connection, he can sense Rey feels the same way, and he can see her light shining in the force again. It isn’t what it was, but it’s enough that he has faith she’ll be all right when the dream inevitably ends. 

“Rey,” he breathes. “Rey, Rey, Rey…”

“I know.” She presses a kiss to the side of his face. “I know.”

“Do you see it now?” he asks softly, then his arms wrap around her a little more tightly. He’s panting so hard that what he wants to say never leaves him, and so instead he presses his forehead against hers, his breath ghosting over her lips as she breathes just as heavily as he does. All he can do is project his feelings into the force, and pray she understands him. 

Luckily, she does. Her hands cup the base of his skull so gently he thinks she’s barely there, but the gesture forces him to look into her eyes. “I know what I have to do,” she says, and the light in her soul tells him that she’s not going to fall down the path he’s been on for the last near-decade. 

“Good.”

“But it’s not going to be easy.”

“It never is,” he whispers, then she moves her hands forward to cup his jaw. 

“Meet me somewhere, no… meet me on Ahch-To,” she tells him. “Just for a little while.”

There are a million reasons why he most definitely shouldn’t go to her. He can’t escape the First Order easily, but maybe it’s time he tries. Maybe it’s time he brings himself out of the path he’s gone down. 

Maybe Rey is right. 

So he nods, and he leans forward to press a tender kiss to her lips. “I’ll go.”

“You will?”

“Meet me in three days,” he tells her, kissing her again. “Then we’ll figure out where we go from here.”

“Okay,” she breathes, then she’s kissing him again, then she’s stealing oxygen from his lungs as they begin to sink back down into the mist, as his cock begins to grow hard again, aching for more as the kiss grows more intense—

He wakes up with a start in his chambers, the sound of his comlink buzzing loudly in his ear to remind him that it was just a very vivid dream. It was only a connection of the force, and  _ fuck _ , it had hurt him more than anything to have it wrenched away at such a crucial moment. 

_ “Supreme Leader, you’re needed on the bridge,”  _ a voice says over the com, and Ben groans, throwing his bare arm over his eyes as he ignores it for just a little while longer. He’s going to think through his memories instead. 

He thinks about how it felt to taste her, kiss her, be inside of her. His memory does each action an injustice, but for now, it’s all he has, and he’ll hold onto them until the day he no longer walks the galaxy as a living being. He holds them close in his heart now, and he’s never going to let them go. 

Ben is so lost in his thoughts that it takes him a full two minutes to realize his arm is bare. He’d swear to any being alive that he’d gone to bed fully clothed, but as he sits up, and his sheets pool at his hips like his cape had to Rey’s, he realizes that he is completely nude. A blush colors his cheeks as he looks off to the side, and sees his clothes waiting for him on his bedroom floor. 

Apparently what happened between him and Rey was just real enough that he had taken his clothes off in the night, making him wonder just what the hell else was real about their encounter in the mist. 

Filled with a new determination, Ben gets up from the bed, grabbing his clothes off the floor as he moves, and makes his way toward the bathroom mirror. He’s a bit nervous as he walks in there, but those nerves become a crimson flush over his entire upper body as he sees the marks she’d left on his neck, collar bone, and even his chest. “Holy shit,” he breathes, glancing at the visible teeth marks, then at the scratches on his back as he turns around, and realizes that even through a dream, she’s marked him. 

Her kisses still stain his skin, and he’s never been more proud to bear her scars. He almost laughs to himself as he walks out of the bathroom, and makes his way to his dresser, searching for what he’s going to wear for the journey to Ahch-To in a frenzy. He’d told her three days, but he knows—they both know—that he can’t possibly wait that long. 

So he begins packing his things. He begins to prepare for the journey that will take him to her. After that, he’s not sure what’s going to happen, but he knows he can’t have a future without Rey. She’s his destiny, he sees that now. He’d helped her to find the light again, and she’s inadvertently helped him in a way he’s not sure how to describe yet. 

One thing is for certain, he’s going to figure it out. He’s going to find Rey on the island they’d seen together in her mind, and they’re going to go down a new path.  _ I’m coming, _ he thinks, and he knows she can sense the feeling behind those words as she too is forced into wakefulness. 

They’re going to be together, all he has to do is cross a galaxy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANd so it ends!! thanks to everyone who Kudos'd, commented, or read it, thanks for indulging in my tiny little fic.


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